You Cannot Overcome An Addiction/Problem Without Taking Personal Responsability.

The other night, I watched an interview about Ben Cousins – a fallen Australian Football star. He has been addicted to Methamphetamines (ice) for the past fifteen years…

At the height of his career, he seemed to have it all. He was the captain of his team, had won a Brownlow medal, and had all the fame and fortune that most only dream of.

Today, at just forty-one years of age he is broke, homeless, and has done two stints in jail. He has essentially lost the support of his family, and only has very limited access to his two young children.

I was looking forward to watching this interview, in the hope that he had finally decided to turn his life around. But, I’m afraid after watching the interview, my hope for him has faded. It was clear to me that he is nowhere near ready!

Ben was once an extremely good looking man, and I found it difficult to watch how terrible he is looking these days. His face has become old and hard, and his brain has clearly been affected from years of drug abuse. What I found even more difficult to watch was his unwillingness to be accountable for himself, his life choices, and the pain and heartache he has caused his family.

It was clear that his mindset is stuck in what I call a ‘victim’ mentality. This man-in-black-shirt-and-gray-denim-pants-sitting-on-gray-1134204is when someone refuses to look at themselves and accept responsibility for their own actions – always blaming everybody else around them because it’s easier than to look at yourself.

It broke my heart to watch him trapped in this victimhood, because, I know all too well from my own addiction, that you cannot possibly move forward and overcome an addiction without being accountable for your own life choices.

With any problem in life (not just addiction), it is imperative that you understand why the problem has occurred in the first place. This understanding helps us to get to the root of the problem, which enables the self-healing to begin.

But, understanding where your problems stem from, is very different to using them as an excuse for your behaviour, or as an excuse to play the ‘victim’ in order to avoid personal responsibility.

An example of this from my own addiction: When I started my self-healing, I discovered that the unprocessed emotional pain, that led to my addiction, stemmed from three different key areas: 1.) Growing up with an alcoholic (and sometimes abusive) Father. 2.) My Dad getting cancer. 3.) Having my heart broken for the first time.

Learning this, helped me to understand where my emotional pain came from, and it made me realise that I had buried these emotions rather than beautiful-blue-eyes-close-up-dhyamis-kleber-609549face them, heal them, and let go of them. In doing so, these unprocessed emotions led me to destructive behaviours, such as, my drug addiction. But, as I mentioned before, understanding where problems stem from, is very different to using them as an excuse or a reason to blame others.

The root cause of two of my problems stemmed from CIRCUMSTANCES that involved my Father, but, that certainly does not mean that I blame him for them. I am the one who did not deal with those emotions at the time, being too young to really understand what was going on. But, as I became older, and came to understand where these problems stemmed from, it was up to me to make a choice.

I could either learn to understand the complexities of my emotional pain, take one hundred per cent accountability for them, and hence, free myself from them. Or, I could have chosen what Ben is doing right now: find the root cause of the problem, shift the blame onto everyone else – causing entrapment amongst the unprocessed emotional pain.

Ben’s Interview certainly highlighted to me: if you choose the easy road of playing the ‘victim’, you are ultimately choosing to stay living in the loneliness and misery of your addiction/problem. You cannot free yourself of an addiction/problem, if you cannot free yourself of the self-imposed ‘victimhood’!

In the beginning, it is not an easy road to face yourself and accept responsibility for your own shitty choices, but in the long run, it is the only way to set yourself free from the emotional pain of self-destruction.

I truly hope and pray that Ben Cousins realises this before it is too late. One thing I’m extremely grateful for every-single-day, is that I did – I woke up before it was too late!

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

You Become Who You Hang Around And What You Put Your Attention To!

Last weekend I flew to the Gold Coast for a business seminar put on by the folks who are running the online business and marketing course I’m doing. The course has a Facebook group of around 3500 members, where we post videos, photos, ask questions, and more importantly, it’s where we all support and encourage each other.

When I first joined, I couldn’t believe the positive culture within the group; often the online world breeds hatred and negativity. In the six months I’ve been a member, I can honestly say I have not seen one nasty comment (although I’ve heard there has been a couple of them, but those people are removed before that toxicity can spread).

We live in a World where it’s so easy to throw hatred at people as a ‘keyboard warrior’, the intention to knock another down in order for the attacker to feel better about their own insecurities.

I think we’ve all (at one stage or another) fallen into that trap of saying something online that really doesn’t represent our finest hour. But, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately: how utterly insane is it to argue with complete strangers online (usually over who’s opinion is ‘right’)? And, even worse, how sick and twisted is it to troll someone with the intention to break them spiritually and emotionally! I guess it gives us a glimpse into how deep and dark their own pain is…

Six years ago, Australian celebrity Charlotte Dawson was bullied and trolled so badly that she took her own life. I remember looking at the comments after she died and those disgusting trolls were still tormenting her, even in death. There were comments like “Good, so glad you killed yourself” and “The world is better without people like you”. I thought to myself “Are you kidding me! Are people really so filled with hatred that they are stooping to a level of darkness where I am genuinely concerned for the morality of their soul?”

It angered me so much that I bit back at these online trolls, but here lies the problem: in doing that, all I did was feed their hunger for hatred, I helped spread that toxicity like cancer. Why? Because, anger cannot defuse hatred, only love can do that. We must remember that our anger (even though it often comes from a disdain towards injustice) is a part of the problem, not the solution.

We will never change the minds of those so blinded by the darkness of hate, that they cannot see the light of love. So what can we do to be a part of the solution? It’s simple: we need to stop trying to shine our light onto those who are lost in the dark.

Where attention goes, energy flows! That was my main take away from attending the seminar last weekend. I was a bit nervous about going to the IMG_3842event on my own. Yes, I have had some interaction with these people online, but essentially I didn’t know anyone. I had some fears walking in: will I like anyone? Will they like me? Are they really as nice as they seem online?

I tried not to have any expectations, other than to just enjoy the content of the seminar. And,  to my surprise, it wasn’t really the content that was the highlight (although the content was excellent), it was meeting so many positive and friendly people from all over the World.

It was an extremely diverse group of around 300 people, I met some fellow Aussies, people from Sweden, Kenya, Switzerland, London, America – just IMG_3807about every nationality was in the room. And, although we were all very different, we all had one commonality: every single person in that room wants to be living their best life!

Because of this, everyone’s attention was flowing in the direction of positivity, each individual had their light shining. What do you think happens when 300 individual lights come together? That’s right, everyone’s light (energy) starts to merge as one – magnifying the intensity of positive power. Like I said “where attention goes, energy flows”.

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I can honestly say, this was one of the best experiences of my life, and now I’ve made so many new friends who also want that light to be the focal point of expansion in their lives. After this experience, I have to seriously ask myself (and you, the reader), why would I choose the coldness of the dark, when I have the choice to choose the warmth of the light?

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If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

If Positive Mindset Work Isn’t Working, Here Might Be Why.

Welcome to my first post of 2020, I’m back after a few weeks break over the festive season. I had a wonderful time and hope you did too! Last year I posted articles on a weekly basis, but have decided to change that to once a month. I have a lot of new and exciting projects on the go for this year and need to make sure I can devote quality time to each and every one of them. If I have the time to post more, I will, but at the very least a monthly commitment is ensured. 

Every self-help ‘guru’ sprouts about the importance of having a positive mindset. “Think positively and your life will change into your deepest desires.” And yes, it is true, a positive mindset is certainly a major contributing factor in creating the life of your dreams. However, what these ‘gurus’ fail to take into consideration, is that a negative mindset is the symptom of something much deeper – an underlying blocked energy pattern.

These energy patterns vary and are unique to each individual, depending on the severity of trauma, and how deeply that trauma is able to penetrate into the individual’s subconscious mind.

When there are multiple traumas that have affected the individual deeply, the energy field becomes suffocated from the intricate blockages that metastasise throughout the lymphatic system (the lymphatic system helps to rid the body of toxins, waste, and other unwanted materials); often manifesting into a physical distortion such as, cancer, motor neurone disease, irritable bowel and bladder dysfunction, just to name a few.

When a person is affected this deeply, I’m afraid no amount of positive thinking is going to break through the mud-like sludge that has infested the natural flow of Qi (energy). You may, through positive thinking, overcome less dense Qi blockages, only to be stopped and the hard work reverted as you venture deeper into the jungle (subconscious mind).

I know, right now if you are one of these deeply affected people, you are probably freaking out and feeling helpless; but trust me, there is a better and more beneficial way… If the cause of the problem is blocked energy, then the logical answer is to unblock the energy.

How do you do this and how do I know all of this you might ask? Well, I’ve lived it – I am living through it right now.

I’ve been on a very long journey of self-discovery that stemmed from a desire to improve my life mentally, emotionally, and physically. I knew throughout my drug addiction that I needed to improve my mindset and emotional wellbeing, what I didn’t realise at the time, was that these issues (Qi blockages) had manifested into a physical problem – an overactive bladder.

I initially tried all of the traditional Western Medicine methods for all three areas: Psychologists, Doctors and Specialists. None of which had any benefits! I then went down the road of natural remedies: naturopathy, hypnosis, acupuncture, etc., which certainly did provide some progress, but I knew there was still further to go, more room for improvement.

The whole positive mindset thing became my next focal point. I tried it all, read all the great books like ‘Think & Grow Rich’, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, ‘The Power Of Now’, ‘Rich Dad – Poor Dad’; all of them were equally fantastic and valuable in some way. For six months I listened to four and a half hours per day of positive affirmations, I also wrote two pages daily of affirmations and said them regularly in the mirror as well. I did half an hour everyday of EFT tapping, meditating, etc.

As I said, you name it and I tried it. And, yes, all of that temporarily changed my mindset, but none of it was long lasting; those thick and sludge like Qi blockages were preventing those changes to flow freely. I persisted with the positive mindset stuff for two years, with no real permanent changes.

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After giving everything else a really good go, I decided to try regular energy healings. I had dabbled with them throughout the years, and when I reflected on that, I realised that the only time I had ever experienced a profound and permanent mindset shift on deeper issues, had in fact, been after an energy healing.

I just needed to decide what type of energy healing would be best. I had tried Reiki and am actually a qualified practitioner myself, but I felt Reiki wasn’t strong enough for these blockages. I have had wonderful results with sound healing, but a good practitioner was an hour and a half away from where I live. Then a client of mine recommended a Kinesiologist, I had tried that once before and didn’t find it beneficial; however, I decided to give it another go, and I’m glad I did.

My first meeting with this practitioner had me sold. He instantly picked up on my bladder problem and was able to accurately detail the mental and emotional issues that led to the bladder dysfunction. He was very honest about the fact that there is no quick fix for these sorts of energy distortions, they took years to formulate, and would therefore, take years to reverse.

I started seeing him every three weeks, and honestly for the first few months, I felt like nothing was changing, but I had a strong feeling to keep persisting, and I’m pleased to say my instincts were right.

After attending these sessions regularly for a year and a half, I am starting to see huge improvements in all three areas, and guess what? Now, when I do focus on mindset shifts, they have a more permanent impact. My Kinesiology practitioner has indeed confirmed that when the energy field is riddled with blockages, no amount of positive thinking, mindset change or western medicine is going to change anything.

No, I’m not completely healed yet, but I am certainly on my way, and have seen huge improvements within the last year and a half (regular yoga has also helped the flow of my QI). So, if you’re finding that no matter what you do: mental, emotional and physical symptoms keep persisting, I would bet my life that, you too, have a severely blocked energy field.

To some of you, all of this might sound like mumbo jumbo, but, if you’ve exhausted all other available options, what have you got to lose by trying something that’s a little left of field?

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

What Has 2019 Meant To You?

PERSONALLY:

 As we come to the end of another year, it’s a good time to reflect on what 2019 has meant to us personally.

For me, the year has been filled with many ups and downs. Centering around letting go of that which no longer serves me (friendships, love, behaviours, etc.) – paving the way to lay down knew foundations… Setting personal boundaries also played a major role in the process of this year’s growth.

I felt like the Universe sent many tests my way, which were emotionally challenging, and resulted in me coming to a fork in the road. Faced with the choice to either turn left into old and comfortable ways, or to turn right into the unknown of the future…

Each time I knew in my heart that I needed to turn right, but my mind was unconvinced and needed to take a couple of steps to the left, just to see, just to make sure my heart knew the ‘right’ answers. Sometimes we need to do this in order to see that we’ve outgrown where we’ve just come from.

I didn’t like going back to the left, although it was somewhat familiar, I felt an overwhelming knowing that I do not belong there anymore. I’m not the same person I used to be ten years, five years or even twelve months ago; nor do I wish to be. When we take these brief steps backwards, it’s a great opportunity to learn and grow from our mistakes, and a chance to close the chapter on those life lessons we no longer wish to repeat. As we grow as individuals, so too, must our choices – this tells the Universe we are indeed ready for a knew chapter of life lessons to unfold.

Turning right into unfamiliar territory is never easy, it takes guts and determination to find your way, which is why so many choose to turn (and reside) to the left when the fork in the road appears – it’s easier in the safety of familiarity, regardless of how much misery that choice actually (and usually) brings.

I spent a big portion of my life allowing this fear to make me run to the left as fast as I could – each time ending in total disaster. I’ve slowly over the years been building up the courage to turn right, and I’m pleased to say that 2019 has been a series of right turns, even though some of them initially started off with me going the wrong way, I very quickly realised I needed to turn around – go back to the fork in the road and turn right onto new and solid ground.

So, all in all, even though I found this year extremely challenging at times, it’s also been one of the most rewarding. As long as we reflect and grow, then really we aren’t doing too badly. I hope that, you too, can find some great positives from 2019, they are always there, you just have to be open to seeing them!

BLOGGING:

 2019 has also been my first year of blogging. It was scary at first to write about some very personal issues, but, I can honestly say, it’s been one of the most cathartic experiences I’ve ever undertaken. When you own your own shit, nothing and no one can hurt you with it. Owning it, means freeing yourself from the crippling power of pain and judgement (from yourself and others).

I’d like to thank my very supportive family and dear friends, I wouldn’t be where I am today without your unconditional love, care, and encouragement. I’m truly blessed with the richness you each bring into my life. I’d also like to thank you, my reader. Your support makes my joy of writing that much brighter.

This will be my last blog post for a few weeks, as I take off to enjoy a holiday and a much needed break. I wish each and every one of you a safe and happy Christmas. May you be blessed with love, happiness and laughter. I look forward to writing for you in 2020.

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

Those Who Dislike Truth, Are Those Who live Behind Lies.

Families, we’ve all got them, but, that doesn’t mean that we particularly like or get along with them, especially when you have those who prefer to hide behind lies!

This week some of my Dad’s family have been up in arms after discovering my blog. I haven’t spoken to most of them since my Dad’s passing seven years ago, and this week I’ve been reminded of why.

Some of them are quite unpleasant people who can’t handle hearing the truth – true ‘victim’ players who never accept responsibility for their own behaviour. They most definitely can’t survive unless they are creating some sort of drama to enhance their otherwise dull and miserable lives.

In one of my previous articles ‘Domestic Violence – Not Always Black And White’, I BRIEFLY mentioned (the article was actually about my parents and I) how my Uncle and eldest half sister used to encourage my Dad to drink, which is one hundred per cent correct and truthful!

Apparently, my sister’s partner whom I will call Mr Would Be (you know: Mr Would Be if he could be – a two bob snob who thinks he is better than everyone) and my Uncle’s wife whom I will call Mrs Would Be (because: she Would Be the matriarch of the ‘Sellars’ [my last name] family, if she were actually a ‘Sellars’), are incensed that I would dare to write the truth about my actual blood relatives.

Both of them rang my second oldest sister whom I will call Miss Kind (because: she has the most beautiful heart and soul) and abused the crap out of her. Why? Because, both of them are too gutless to contact me directly, so they both targeted the soft and innocent Miss Kind.

Mrs Would Be, was yelling at Miss Kind – demanding her to wipe me from her life. Yes, you heard correctly: an OUTSIDER who is merely married to my Uncle, is demanding that Miss Kind stops speaking to her BLOOD related sister. Totally crazy, isn’t it?!

It’s actually quite sad, I haven’t spoken to my Uncle since Dad died because of his trouble making wife. I would happily speak to my Uncle (I know my Dad would love that), but I won’t, because I absolutely will not tolerate the drunken ranting’s and interference from his wife. And, I know my Dad would understand that – he couldn’t stand Mrs Would Be or Mr Would Be either for that matter!

When Dad died Mr Would Be abused my Mother on the phone because apparently having Dad’s funeral at 10 o’clock on a Monday morning was an man-wearing-brown-suit-jacket-mocking-on-white-telephone-1587014inconvenience for them. He screamed at Mum “What sort of a fucking idiot has a funeral at 10 o’clock on a Monday morning?” Considering I used to work in the Funeral Industry I’d like to say: NEWS FLASH ARSEHOLE, every Monday morning, year in, year out, people have funerals at that time! I think that pretty much sums up the type of person he is anyway! Don’t you?

They have a real distaste for my Mother and I because as I mentioned before, people like that have an aversion to the truth. They have so much self-hatred that it’s easier to live behind lies, than it is to face the scariness of the truth – the truth that they are very unhappy and self-loathing people. Rather than have the courage to face this, they choose to bury their pain in booze, and deflect their character faults on to those who represent what they fear most. Truth!

My Mother and I are as truthful as they come, not just towards other people, but about ourselves. We aren’t afraid to admit our faults and past mistakes, and that frightens the shit out of people who choose to live in the safety of lies.

But, that’s okay, I understand that everyone is on their own journey and will evolve at their own pace…

The silver lining for me out of this whole ‘dramatic’ escapade is:

  • I’m so glad that I’ve learnt to love and accept myself, it really is the most peaceful place to be!
  • I’m really grateful for the family members who bring me love and joy, especially my sister Miss Kind – her and I have a special and unbreakable bond that I will always treasure.
  • When you choose to walk away from toxic people, it’s very empowering to know that your life is far better for it.

Some people hate me for my honesty, but I’ve reached a point where I am totally fine with that. The people who are worthy of being in my life, love me for it – I realised a long time ago that the truth really does set you FREE!

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

Green Eyed Monster – Jealousy.

Jealousy, it really is one of the ugliest emotions that one can feel and exhibit. I’ve never particularly resonated with this emotion, and think it’s a poisonous one to entertain.

I often hear people make comments like “He makes way too much money” or “She’s so lucky. It’s not fair, why haven’t I got X Y Z?”. Which of course, is jealousy based around a feeling of lack within one’s own life.

Then there is what I call ‘possessive’ jealousy, where one person thinks they have ownership over another person. Again, this comes back to an inadequacy within ones-self – a deep seated insecurity caused from a lack of self-acceptance.

I think we’ve all experienced the emotion of jealousy at one point or another in our lives, but some people seem to embody the emotion to a point where they become rotten to their core.

On the few occasions I have felt jealousy, it’s been something that I’ve been eager to rid myself of, it’s also something that I would never allow to interfere in my treatment towards others.

I’m generally pretty happy for people, if someone obtains money or success I think good luck to them, it’s obviously their path. The same goes with people: I understand that I do not have ownership over anyone other than myself.

If one of my friends gets along with another friend I’ve introduced them to, I think that’s fantastic! If I’m in a romantic relationship with someone, I owe my trust to them, and if I don’t, then I would need to asses whether it’s due to my own insecurities or whether there is a valid reason for the jealousy. If there is a valid reason, then it’s simple, I must end the relationship – my self-worth deserves better than a cheater.

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If the jealousy was due to my own insecurities, then I would need to seek professional help in order to overcome them. It is incredibly unfair to place one’s own insecurities on to a partner (or anyone for that matter)!

When you look at the core of jealousy, regardless of which type, it all comes back to the individual experiencing the jealousy – it truly has nothing to do with the other person. And, those who cannot see that are definitely caught up in a ‘victim’ mentality. You know, the whole woe is me, life isn’t fair, why is this happening to me, God is punishing me type of crap.

News flash – YOU are one hundred per cent responsible for your own life! Yes, someone may inflict an injustice on you, but it’s YOUR choice as to whether you allow that to either make or break you!

Those of you who choose to sit in the vile emotion that is jealousy, will never find happiness. Why? Because, you refuse to take ownership and address why you are feeling jealous in the first place.

No, it isn’t always easy to look at yourself and accept that you are less than perfect, but surely that uncomfortableness is better than allowing your misguided bitterness to spread through, not only your own life, but to the lives of the innocent that you choose to deflect upon?

If you find that you are consistently feeling jealous and are unable to show happiness towards others, then might I suggest you put your big girl/boy pants on and take a good hard look at yourself. You can either let the poison spread until it kills your health and happiness, or you can take ownership and kill the poison.

It’s your choice – the buck stops with you!

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

You Either Have Integrity Or You Are A Hypocrite.

Integrity is one of my core values. I feel that without it, there’s a lack of wholeness within one’s character – self-respect is missing, and that makes it incredibly hard for others to respect you in return.

Integrity, comes in various different forms, but ultimately, it’s about having high moral principles that you adhere to, regardless of what others may think of you. It’s also about upholding those principles even when no one is watching!

I’ve always had the ability to see through the façade of someone’s behaviour – an understanding of the deeper psychology that drives, the often, unpleasant or destructive behaviour.

This ability, has always allowed me to show compassion where most do not. But, I have to admit, a lack of integrity within a person is something I struggle to show empathy for. Yes, it’s true, a person without integrity (otherwise known as a hypocrite) is usually filled with deep seated insecurities and an underlying dose of self-hatred – in knowing this, I should be able to show some compassion towards hypocrites, but, on my core value scale: integrity, sits higher than compassion.

I was raised to tell the truth, something that isn’t always popular, especially with those who are afraid or in denial of the truth. But, seriously, why would you care if a truth denier doesn’t like you?

This, of course, doesn’t mean you run around deliberately hurting people’s feelings – there is always a gentle way to say what needs to be said. But, lying or pretending to agree with someone or something that goes against your personal values just to ensure that you are liked, is nothing short of being gutless! If people want to judge and dislike you for having different values, then take that as a clear sign – these are not the type of people you would want to hang around anyway.

Recently, a well known and prominent person in my hometown passed away. I won’t pretend to know him well – we were just on an acquaintance level. I did, however, admire and respect him greatly. Why? Because, he had the the utmost integrity. Nothing and no one came before the upholding of his core values and principles.

He was disliked by many because of this, especially for some of his ‘politically incorrect’ views, but he didn’t give a stuff – he knew who he was, what he stood for, and was unashamedly proud of it. Although many disliked his honesty, many, many more loved and respected him for it.

This man and the term hypocrisy could never be said in the same sentence! He even left instructions before he died to remove a particular person if they came to his funeral because of their clash in values – he couldn’t stand to go against them, even in death.

I only wish there were more people in the World like this. Unfortunately, too many are so concerned about what others may think of them, that they forget to check in on what they think about themselves.

A lack of integrity may make you more popular with the supposed ‘in’ crowd, but it will never make you respected by those in the RIGHT crowd!

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

Dare To Be Different.

I’ve always been a bit of an oddball – I see the World very differently to most. I think it’s a part of being a creative person. Our ability to think differently is what allows us to create all sorts of magical things…

There’s an old saying “All creatives are borderline insane”, and insane, is how a lot of people have viewed my ‘lateral thinking’ over the years. I used to feel upset by being viewed as ‘different’ from the crowd – it can be a lonely road. But, one thing I’ve come to realise is trying to ‘fit in’ and be someone you are not is even lonelier.

The World truly would be a boring place if we were all the same, and nothing new would be created if we didn’t have people who ‘dared’ to think differently. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned to love my weirdness, and I’ve grown incredibly thankful for it too!

It allows me to step outside the narrative that is heavily prescribed through the media, schools and Universities – the indoctrination that has almost wiped out people’s ability to think freely and laterally.

I’ve copped a lot of ridicule from the herd for this ability, free thinking seems to frighten them. Their fear is what drives them to be mean. When you understand this, their words lose their power and no longer hurt. You no longer allow their meekness to snuff out your light (your creative spark).

If you too are an ‘oddball’, remember this and remember you are not alone… Keep thinking BIG, keep creating something new, and most importantly, keep shinning brightly!

“Why try so hard to fit in, when clearly you were born to stand out” ~ Author Unknown.


A Little poem I wrote about being different:

A MIND OUTSIDE THE SQUARE

A mind outside the square,

Lot’s of thinking going on up there.

A view with a difference,

People reject an indifference.

One’s depth can be so shallow,

Their brain soft – a marshmallow.

Misunderstood is the artist,

Unrecognised as a craftsman.

So intricate are the weaves.

Majority cannot see,

A genius is that of thee.

A creative fire, burns through the wire.

An ignition that will not tire.

Insanity, they perceive.

Judgement is their greatest need.

Their mind is trapped, oh yes, indeed.

Just jealous that you are free.

Limitations, you have none.

Remember, oh precious one,

Your gift is from above.

Your talents bring only fun.

So, reject that you are dumb,

Just misunderstood by everyone.

Do not judge as they do.

Pave the way,

For one day, they might embrace your different ways.

After all, people follow when they feel their lives are hollow.

Trust in thyself, then they might too.

Oh genius one, this is the truth.

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

Legalising Illicit Drugs – The Answer To Controlling A Worldwide Epidemic.

In recent weeks in Australia, the Coroner has advised that testing drugs at music festivals would be beneficial in saving lives.

This has caused much debate on social media, and I have to say I’ve found it extremely hard to read some of the ignorant comments made. Comments like “drugs are illegal, so drug takers should be arrested”, “who cares if they overdose, it’s their choice to take them”, or, “pill testing only encourages drug users”.

All of these comments are very easy to say in a black and white context, but the drug epidemic that is sweeping the World is not as simplistic as the black and white ignorant would like to think!

Authorities have been fighting the ‘war on drugs’ for a very long time, and I have to ask: where has it got them? As one Drug Lord is locked up, another emerges. In fact, the amount of people taking drugs has almost tripled in the last twenty years.

Trying to eradicate drugs and drug dealers is clearly NOT working! So, wouldn’t common sense tell you that if one approach is failing miserably, then perhaps a new approach is very much warranted.

I watched a documentary years ago (I think it was based in Sweden), where pill testing was trialled at music festivals, and the results were amazing. Young party goers who used the service and got a bad reading on their pill, actually abstained from taking it.

However, I believe this idea, although inventive and having some positive outcomes, is really only addressing a very small window of a much larger problem. A problem that requires great vision for the entirety of its reach.

Drugs affect various different problems that impact the community as a whole: crime is one of the biggest areas that has an on-flow from drugs. We have drug addicts committing burglaries on small businesses and frightening home invasions – they need money to pay for their addiction. We have Gangland turf wars over the territory of selling drugs. People committing murder, rape and violence in general because of drugs. There’s people who drive on drugs, putting other’s lives at risk. People filling up hospitals and psychiatric wards due to drugs. Suicide.  Ambulance and Police officers are being called to drug related issues, and the list goes on and on!

The problem is so far spread throughout society, that the approach of ‘stopping’ it, is nothing more than an outdated, unrealistic ideal. So, what do we do if we can’t stop it? We need to change tactics and learn to control it, and we can only do this if we legalise all illicit drugs.    

Now, before you jump down my throat, please just hear me out. Alcohol was once illegal too back in the Prohibition days, and the powers that be realised the problem was so out of hand that they needed to legalise it in order to control it. You only have to look around to see that alcohol related crime, is very minimal in comparison to drugs these days. Legalising alcohol didn’t take away all of the problems, but it certainly reduced them to a controllable level.

I can already hear you black and white thinkers jumping up and down yelling “Legalising it will send a message that it’s okay to take drugs and will make the problem worse”, and to that I say NO, it will make the problem better!

Legalising drugs will enable several things:

  • The drugs can be made safely by trained professionals, saving thousands of lives and creating more jobs in the process.
  • The dosage given can be monitored and regulated.
  • Drug Lords would almost be wiped out.
  • All of the above would lead to a significant drop in crime.
  • The lure for kids to rebel against the law by taking ‘illegal’ drugs would be rendered worthless.
  • The need for ambulance and police resources would also drop significantly.

As someone who has fallen to the clutches of drug addiction, I’m telling you that ‘stopping’ drugs will not stop an addict from finding a fix, nor will it stop a drug dealer trying to make a quick buck or trade off to support their own habit. Educating kids that drugs are ‘bad’ won’t have much affect either, not on someone who is in extreme emotional or physical pain.

My parents spent a lot of time teaching me that drugs were ‘bad’, and in my early teens I was righteously against the use of drugs – lecturing anyone I could about it until one day… My unprocessed emotional pain became too much to bare. When someone reaches that point of emotional or physical pain, all sense of reason flies out the window. So please people, stop making such simplistic comments like “don’t take drugs, drugs are bad”, that attitude is neither helpful or affective!  

It’s time people opened their minds and their hearts. The severity of the problem has spread far and wide, far beyond the realms of being able to ‘stop’ it. A new approach is the only way of reducing the impact that drugs are having on ordinary people in what has become the misery of their everyday lives. You will never stop it, so let’s do what we can to control it! 

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey

Synchronicity – A Signpost To The Right Path.

I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe that synchronicity happens for a reason. It’s a signpost from the Universe, letting us know that we are exactly where we are meant to be.

I’ve had a few really good synchronicities in the latter half of this year and it coincides with some much needed changes I had to make in my life. My finances have really taken a hit in recent years, mainly due to depression and reckless decisions made in grief after the loss of my Father.

I thought I was on to a winner and that things were going to turn around when I started working for two supposed Entrepreneurs – dedicating a lot of time, energy and effort into their falsely inflated business, for very little in return.

After twelve months of getting an inside look at their lies and false promises, and unfortunately ending up with an empty pocket – I realised that I had allowed myself to be used by people who knew my desperation to improve my financial situation and used it to their advantage.

When I finally woke up and walked away, everything shifted, and amazing synchronicities started to occur… And, most importantly, I learnt one very valuable lesson: don’t rely on anyone other than yourself to become successful!

Rather than feel despondent, I had deep faith that something much better would come along, and three weeks later it did. An online course, run by real Entrepreneurs who have actually reached the heights of great success. The course offered everything I was looking for: a tangible step-by-step process on everything I felt I was lacking in becoming successful.

adventure-boots-car-1051078I knew in my heart instantly that this was where I was meant to be, and the following week the Universe sent me a massive sign of confirmation.

My cousin, who I would say has always been my ‘spiritual’ guide, sent me a text message about a new business venture he was undertaking. And, low and behold, it was basically everything my new course was about.  When I replied, I mentioned the course that I was undertaking, and guess what? He had just finished an almost identical course. I had goose bumps from head to toe, as did he. However, neither of us were particularly surprised – our lives have often been parallel.

Now that I had a new direction for the future, I needed some form of extra income to support myself in this venture, as well as work in with my current part-time Hairdressing business.

I reached back to my old trade of House Painting and managed to rustle up a few private jobs, but it wasn’t consistent week-in-week-out. I needed something part-time on a regular basis. I called a few painters and fronted up to different businesses with resume in hand, but no one had any work at the time.

A couple of months later, I still had one of the supposed entrepreneurs clinging on to being in my life, and I felt like this was a huge burden weighing me down. I needed to free myself from the toxicity, and when I finally did, I got a phone call the very next day from a female painter. She offered me the regular work I’d been looking for and was happy to be flexible with my hours, she also offered me a really good hourly rate – it was exactly what I was after! This synchronicity confirmed that cutting these people from my life was indeed the right decision.

I felt like my new part-time job (although going backwards to a past career) was exactly where I was meant to be, and of course, the Universe always sends a sign…

We were painting a house for a builder and his wife that my new boss regularly works for. My boss had been telling me about how lovely the builder’s wife was and when I met her, she seemed strangely familiar.

I decided to look her up on Facebook, hoping this would jolt my memory as to where I knew her from, and it did. I saw a photo and write up about her Grandma who had died seven years prior.

Seven years ago I worked in the funeral industry. It was myself and another female colleague who came to collect her Grandmother when she died. I remember this family so well because I felt a real connection with them.

They were a large family who were incredibly close, and my part in the Grandmother’s collection somehow felt special; the family must have thought so too because the next day they rang the office to rave about the “two angels” who collected their loved one the night before. The family also requested that we work on the funeral services. The family held a private service at the Crematorium and a separate public memorial service.

Management would only let me work on the private cremation service and I was furious that they were ignoring a specific request from the family (the families were just a number to management, but to me they were people in grief that I cared about). I sent a card with a colleague to give to the family at the service I was not allowed to work on.

Twelve months later the Grandfather passed away and the family requested I work on his funeral, but I was no longer employed there. A colleague was kind enough to pass on the message.

I had chills when I realised who the builder’s wife was. I told my boss the story, she was touched by it and rang the builder’s wife for me to speak to. I told her she seemed familiar and she said she felt the same thing but couldn’t put her finger on it. When I told her I used to work in the funeral industry, she knew who I was immediately.

She was just as excited as I was and told me that mine and my colleague’s presence that night was firmly etched in her and her family’s mind – our care and compassion truly meant something to them. We talked for quite a while and have decided to catch up for a drink sometime soon.

For me, this was another case of goose bumps – total awe and wonder at adult-attractive-beautiful-1261459how the Universe divinely times things when we are exactly where we are meant to be.

Oh, and I nearly forgot one more amazing synchronicity. Although I’ve written my whole life, I’ve never really been interested in writing Fiction, I don’t even particularly read a lot of it.

A few weeks ago a friend sent me an article on performing a cord cutting ceremony to help me let go of energetic ties to a past love. That night as I performed the ceremony, my mind transported to a magical realm of ideas for a Fiction book.

The ideas gave me a strong knowing that this is the direction my writing must go in next. I started trying to think of my main character’s name, but it wouldn’t come. A couple of days later (on my birthday actually) another friend sent me a YouTube video (out of the blue) of this artist I have never heard of, and guess what? Yep, it’s exactly the name I was after for my main character. The song also ‘strangely’ relates to the genre (fantasy) of the book.

Once again, confirmation I am on the right track! The first half of this year was honestly one of the most challenging years I’ve ever faced, in relation to letting go of that which no longer serves me. But boy, is the second half of the year rewarding me!

All of the dead weight is gone, things are moving forward, and the synchronicities are flying through the door. I don’t know exactly where this is all going yet, but I do know, I’m exactly where I need to be. That much the Universe has confirmed loud and clear!

If you’re enjoying what you’re reading, please consider hitting the follow button, signing up to my email list (bottom of the page for mobile devices, the side for desktop) or recommending my blog to a friend.

Thanks for reading.

– Stacey