I’ve been writing privately for as long as I can remember: my thoughts, my pain, my regrets…
I’ve always felt writing was my calling, a way to help others feel understood and supported through their times of darkness.
Through my many years in despair, I felt alone, so very alone. Too scared to turn to others out of fear: fear that I’d be judged, or worse, that I’d make another disappointed in me, it’s the disappointment that really gets to me. I’m always striving for approval, probably due to my deep seated fear of rejection and abandonment.
We all have these fears, don’t we? Fears that we aren’t good enough, fears that others won’t like us, fears, fears, so many fears. I’m sure that others have them, it’s just some are too fearful to admit that they are less than perfect.
These are the people that can’t be helped, remaining in ignorance is a much easier and desirable option… (in the short term). People like this scoff and laugh at people like me – the thought of self-awareness frightens them beyond belief. It gives a glimpse of how confronting it is to be totally honest and open with one’s own imperfections.
I don’t blame such people for the judgement, I know how scary looking in the mirror can be, but, these aren’t the types of people you’ll find on my page, these are the types that will run – far away. The ones who will stay and walk with me, are the ones who are brave enough to face themselves without the protection of a façade.
The fear of being exposed is a frightening thought! However, those of us who are ready to free ourselves from the shackles of fear and pain, are aware that in order to do this, we must strip back to the rawness of our vulnerability, and learn how to be comfortable in that space. It is here we must keep the faith, that growing comfortable within our vulnerability, is where self-acceptance can be found – that self-loving freedom.
This is my first blog post, and I can tell you, the thought of pressing the publish button frightens me to my very core, I am not comfortable with showing my vulnerability at all!
But, I know I have to if I want to embody self-acceptance, and inspire others to do the same.
The only way to overcome our fears, is to face them, look them in the eye with a steely gaze, and charge right through them, with determination and dedication to be triumphant.
That is what I’m here to do: to share with you, learn with you, and grow with you into the safety of our own blissful self-acceptance…
The reflection makes a tear drop fall,
the memories though far are still so raw.
The infliction of hate, is hard to bare.
What I did to myself was so unfair.
I weep for that time, a scared little girl.
So lost, so fallen, she was back then.
An arduous task to find the fragments,
shattered into a million pieces.
Pieces so hard to fix once broken
A painstaking task to find where they fit…
Years of patience and determination,
has been the only way back to salvation.
The picture has come back into focus.
Though, the broken lines are of notice.
Although not perfect, it tells a tale.
The fragility has become unveiled.
There is nothing left to fear or hide.
Now it is forgiveness time.
To let go of the hate, to let love shine.
What was back then, does not live in the now.
The moment is here for you to be proud.
Please forgive yourself in order to allow,
the seedling to sprout out of the ground.
You’ve done the planting, the watering too.
Now shine that love –
give the strength to break through.
That is all that’s left to do.
The rest God will take care of for you.
The dawn has set, it’s time to rise.
A glorious morning –
the future of an untold story.
That future is here, in the palm of your hand.
This was always a part of the big grand plan.
Let go of the old, make way for the new.
It is your time, it is here, to start being you.
Trust me, that is all that’s left to do…
To be you,
To be you,
To be all of you!